You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
In America we eat man semen.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
