We're facebook friends in real life
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just gift wrapped bread.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
