Christians are straight up FREAKS
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I did not marry a roomba.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
