I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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