she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
