it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
