We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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