i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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