Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
