He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
