He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
