just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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