Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
