his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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