When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
