Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
