bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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