I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
