R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
