I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
