And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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