Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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