My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
