Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
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a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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