You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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