why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
