the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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