Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
