My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
