hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
