that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
