Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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