It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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