i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
