big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
