what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
