I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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