am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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