don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize