The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
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You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
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Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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