operation harelip BJ is a go
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
