We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize