Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
