I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
