i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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