i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
