508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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