your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
