Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
