hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
