awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
