your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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