Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
