I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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