I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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