Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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