My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
