Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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