God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
