i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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